Conversation with my daughter

We are walking to Rite Aid when a mother and her daughter cross the street near us. My daughter points to the girl who, in my view, is kind of a really mean, not at all nice little kid. 

She says, “Hey that’s my friend.”

I ask, “What’s her name?”

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t you think you should know your friends’ names?” I ask.

After a pause, she says, “All I know is that she’s really good at not sharing.”

Wherein I make good on my earlier threats regarding fanfic

So, I did it. I’d like to say I’m ashamed or some such, but I actually rather enjoyed doing this. In a little while, I might post slightly more typo-free versions on this page. In the meantime, here’s a link to my page over at fanfiction.net. Go ahead, nerds. Click that link. I dare you.

Yes, I am aware that I am a huge nerdork. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Farmer’s market conversation

We’re at the farmer’s market. My wife, seeing that the coffee guy is there, says: Hey you want to get some coffee?

Me: Meh.

Her: What? How come?

Me: It’s good coffee and all, but last time—it takes him a while to make your cup and so he starts talking to me about roasts and blends and flavors and stuff.

Her: So?

Me: It was awkward.

Her: That doesn’t make any sense.

Me: Well. So, imagine your crack dealer started talking to you about different varietals of cocaine, when really they should be saying, This shit’ll get you messed up.

To the fanfic

Early New Year’s resolution. Instead of spending my time dicking around on the internet, I think whenever I get the urge, I’ll just write a little Mass Effect fanfiction instead. If I’m going to do something useless, I might as well be doing something that at least has the appearance of being productive.

Also: apologies to all in advance.

Stating the obvious so you don't have to.

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